Hello! I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging, events have gotten the better of me – I hope all my readers and people stopping by have had a wonderful December – and if not, it’s time to see 2013 is a new start, new beginnings, a place of journeys not yet taken.
Some incredible things have happened to me this month – not least of which was going to New York for a trip of a lifetime and my partner of 11 years proposing to me via a kind of ‘detective journey’ through the city, involving letters with clues. I will never forget it, that’s for sure – it’s a story to tell children and grandchildren and any people who doubt modern romance. Most of all, I feel lucky and loved, and I wish the same for you.
This year, there have been a few big and little discoveries – some lessons I’ve learnt, some people I’ve met, connections I’ve made and things I’ve enjoyed along the way. Sometimes it feels like life is going too fast, but there are moments that you carry with you for the rest of your life, things that make it all worthwhile. I feel thankful at the end of this year – thankful for the people around me, thankful that I’m pursuing my dreams, thankful that I’m still learning. It’s never too late for anything.
At the beginning of this year, I wrote myself a bucket list – most of it I didn’t stick to or achieve, but I figure that’s okay because most bucket lists are lifetime things! I’ve worked out that my pace can be slower, but I get there in the end with a lot of determination. I think bucket lists are more like guidelines and wishes, things that we’d like to do but sometimes we have to admit to ourselves when things are going to take longer to achieve. I spent the first part of this year feeling low and teetering on the brink of depression because of circumstances that felt beyond my control, mostly to do with money and feeling stuck.
It’s hard to remember the good things when you feel like you’ve lost your confidence and you’re not sure where you’re going next. But I dug myself out with the help of some wonderful people, who gave me important advice and more importantly helped me to recognise that I’m the one who needs to take charge of my own life. If something doesn’t feel right to you – do you really need it there pulling you down? Even if it means some things will be harder, is it really worth it? Only you can answer that question.
I’ve also learnt that every small step gets you somewhere. Even if it’s just contacting someone, going along to conferences, listening to people who have been through what you’re going through now. You write down a word, then another one, and one day that will add up to a novel. You have to do the work, the piecework, but also keep in mind what you want that to add up to. Being kind to yourself is one of the most important things I’ve learnt this year too. If something hurts, let it hurt, but accept it and understand that you’re human and to feel and be vulnerable is important. If we didn’t feel then how do you know what is right and what is wrong for you? Or what matters the most to you?
Feeling the fear has been a big thing this year too. Stepping outside my own comfort zone, meeting new people, catching up with old friends, going away with a lot of people I didn’t know well (for a hen weekend), making new contacts. I’m a shy person, and it takes a lot for me to step out of that, but I’m learning to deal and embrace my introversion, seeing it as a positive thing. Shyness can be one of the most awkward things to cope with, but bit by bit I’m learning what I need to do to brace myself and psyche myself up.
Some other things I’ve discovered:
- Supernatural – I can’t believe its taken me so long to get into this series. I’m now slightly obsessed, in the good way you get obsessed with a new supernatural type series.
- Haribo Cherry Sours – the hit of the summer for me…
- Bluebasil Brownies – a lovely company and the brownies are the best I’ve ever had.
- The Limping Chicken – my go to for Deaf news, reviews and features.
- Blintzes – a New York discovery, whilst we stayed in the Hotel Edison (at Cafe Edison).
- The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern – I fell in love with this book.
- The New York Dolls ‘Jet Boy’ – possibly the best song I discovered this year (it was my February obsession)
- That New York is the place of ‘moments’ – it’s the little things you see and capture with a camera that make it an incredible city.
Some of the best moments/things/photos of this year:
We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day. ~ Edith Lovejoy Pierce.