Obsessions

It’s becoming clear to me how much I value the appeal of the visual. So much of the information I take in from the world comes from seeing: lipreading, reading: subtitles, captions, books and articles, reading body language, seeing what is happening around me. I’ve always loved art, crafts, films and illustration. I’ve fallen in love with photography over the past few years.

I try to notice the world around me more, to be in the moment: even though I’m a very future-oriented person, I try to anchor myself to the present as much as possible. I’m learning more about myself through different ways – through the Myers-Briggs personality types (I test either as INFJ or at times INFP, though it seems INFJ is the most common for me) and through what it means to be an introvert (how to recharge and deal with those times I’m in need of rest), for example.

More and more, I’m finding that I enjoy Pinterest and Tumblr as a means of inspiration and ideas. I can’t always go to museums and art galleries or to the cinema and theatre. As much as I love to, sometimes I can’t afford it, or don’t have the energy. This is why visual blogging and pinning helps me to focus, find inspiration and think about all those little and big obsessions I have. Such as book culture, introverts, art, travel and the freelance life.

With Pinterest, I can pin things that will help me enhance what I already have and to organise myself better. I don’t currently have the space for a giant pinboard where I can print things out and pin them, so Pinterest serves as a way of reminding me of what I feel is important and interesting about life. It’s also a great way of expressing different aspects of myself – style, for example. Or words and quotes that mean something to me.

Tumblr, on the other hand, is a bit of a mixed bag. I tend to go there when I need to remind myself of what I love – books, photography and words. It’s also a great place for fans! It’s difficult to explain the difference between the function Tumblr and Pinterest have for me. Pinterest is a space for focused things. Tumblr is more of a ‘go where the wind blows’ sort of place. Less of a place for ideas, and more of a place for appreciation and expression. Lately, when things haven’t been as creative for me with writing, I find I’m turning towards these two sites because they centre me: they aren’t like Facebook and Twitter which is the sound of other people, but they are places where you express yourself creatively. Much like blogging, which is why they feel more natural for me.

Summer has never been a very creative time of year for me. I’m a cool weather person when it comes to working: I’m happier when it’s a pretty Spring day and I can see the sunshine but I’m not unbearably hot. I feel quite frustrated creatively at the moment, and I’m struggling to pull myself together and just do things. Maybe this is why I’m not blogging much at the moment. I want to change things in my life to bring out those aspects of myself – passion, creativity and curiosity – that I need to be a productive writer.

Everyone is different and has different goals to reach for their own writing. At the moment I feel as if I’m flailing through the fog and can’t see exactly what it is that I want. Perhaps all the things that have happened over the past year have meant I need to rest, to recharge and rethink my goals. I know that I’m often very conflicted – there’s a lot of conflict going on within me about what I want to do and what I’m actually doing. So there does need to be a major rethink of where my passions are leading me and what sort of work is meaningful and fulfilling for me.

So this is why taking some time to think about my obsessions and passions, using Tumblr and Pinterest, are helping me so much right now. Going within and then using ideas and images to try and represent that introspection is helping me to map my way again.

‘I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me.’ – Hermann Hesse.