‘Oh little light
That shines for me in the dark of the night
Oh little sigh
Sometimes I follow you all the way home
I would almost have to ask you
I hate to be led
So give me a spark I can look for instead
How do you do it
This bitter and bloody world
Keep it together and shine for your family
How do you do it
With the visions of worst to come
Live in the present
And spin off the rays of sun
Oh little beam
Splitting the fog and the dirt in between
Oh simplify
Like a problem you try to work out in your mind
I would almost have to ask you
It’s clumsy when said
So give me a spark I can look for instead’ – Sleater Kinney ‘Night Light’.
I think that no matter how bleak things feel, that sometimes theres a glimmer of hope in there somewhere. Even if you’re in pitch black, theres a slant of light peering around a door. The only difficulty is trying to find your way when you can’t see anything. Even the very worse is not as bad as it seems if you can find something to hold on to.
I mean, I don’t have it all that bad, not really. The only thing right now is being able to pay the bills and buy the food, and hold on until next month when I get money again. At least I’m not out on the street. It’s just that worry really can kill hope sometimes. Writing it all down, in my writer’s notebook and here is both a release and leads to inspiration that I can mine when I run out of ideas. Even the worst things we go through can be used in writing. Feelings and trials, it seems, are the writer’s food for thought.
It always seems as if I reach a new level of lowness before I manage to pick myself up again and pull myself out of it. It’s true that when you’re down, the only person who can truly change your mood is yourself, no matter how lovely and cheerful other people are.
Last night, I felt like I had this pressure on my shoulders, just pushing me down. My Mother cheered me up a little bit by encouraging me to look into book reviewing, and to keep going with that, even though the jobs are thin on the ground. I think hope comes when you least expect it and there’s no telling what or who will inspire you and make you happy again. Books make me happy, strangely enough. I can get lost in them and forget the world for a little while.
I’m reading ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ at the moment, by the way. I think there are two camps when it comes to this book – those who think it is sabotage and those that might find it interesting. I’m definitely finding it interesting – it’s one of my all time favourite books (Pride and Prejudice, that is) so this just brings an entirely different take!
If you like the gothic and Elizabeth Bennet, then you definitely will like this rather macabre take on this classic regency romance. Elizabeth Bennet used to be my heroine, and her penchant for battling zombies and triumphing, really gives her a whole new dimension. Her toughness and attitude really works in Zombie situations!
Even though this must be my third reading of Pride and Prejudice, I never get bored of it. Every time, Austen’s wit and irony is such a pleasure to read. What’s more, her character portraits are vivid and fine. They are probably the most celebrated element of her writing – her way of rendering characters in technicolour. I also find reading or re-reading books by Austen quite comforting. She makes me happy when skies are grey…
Cats and Chocolate 