Life Lately

It has been a while, and it’s impossible to go over everything that’s happened over the last few months, but I’ll try.

I’ll begin with a list, as so many things often do:

• I turned 40 in December last year. So far it does actually feel different in a non-defined way than my 30s.
• We had to cancel then reschedule a much needed break to Seville in February for our anniversary to late March-early April because I had a non-Covid virus that I couldn’t quite shake.
• We went on the aforementioned trip to Seville and loved it – Spain is wonderful but usually I’ve been in the Granada, Barcelona, or Madrid areas (all beautiful and worth visiting!). We had family friends living in Granada and Barcelona when I was young so visited Spain a few times. But Seville – especially when the orange trees are blooming – is something special. I did a lot of vegan food research before we left and booked a few different places.
• My Dad ended up in hospital for a serious UTI and chest infection, came home, then had a major seizure in the street that led to another hospital stay. He had one more seizure (at home), and was diagnosed with mild brain atrophy (and had to quit his lifelong smoking habit, and also stop drinking – both very difficult for him). The seizures were determined to be because he was taking two blood pressure lowering medicines at the same time. He’s currently doing better.
• My sister, her husband, their two young cats, and my nephew moved out after a year of living with us (us being my parents, myself, our cat, and my husband). It was a chaotic and often stressful year but I’m glad they found somewhere they’re happy to live and they seem to be settling in.
• I’ve spent a lot of time this year protesting, boycotting, and sharing information about various things, including Palestine, and UK welfare benefit cuts. The benefits campaigning was particularly difficult given the ableism of media, Government, and people on the internet (TM). I joined an online rally set up by Mad Youth Organise where people read poems, spoke about their experiences with the welfare system, and where we were encouraged to do three items of activism (emailing or phoning our MPs and other officials for eg).
• My Mum had her first hip replacement operation this month. She’s doing well and recovering at home where we’re looking after her. Taking care of the house and making sure everyone eats has taken a lot of my time so far this month.
• All said, my art and writing and general creativity have taken a bit of a dive. I’ve been attempting to do something here and there – recently I did an online workshop with London Drawing Group with Emma Carlisle called Drawing Cats, which I loved. Next weekend I’m also doing another workshop with them covering the work of Maud Lewis called Colour and Freedom. She was a Canadian artist who struggled with poverty and chronic illness and created beautiful colourful art, some of which features cats! I’ve also sporadically used Skillshare for a few tutorials. I’m really hoping to make more use of it in the coming months, and gain some momentum after an eventful year so far.

I’ve also been struggling to work out where I want to go with my blog, whether I want to use Substack or not, and what direction I want to go in with writing. I had a number of creative summer goals that were too ambitious given my family health situations, but also because I’ve realised that my own chronic health issues, neurodivergent brain, and energy pacing issues mean that I’m a lot slower to do things at the moment. Even reading is slower this year – I downgraded my goal of 52 books to 30 books because I wanted to take the pressure off.

Summer also has an impact on my brain – it seems to slow down in the heat, my brain fog gets worse, and my awareness of my bodily discomfort (too hot, sweaty etc) distracts me in a sensory way. Before I understood myself better, I used to get depressed or low during the height of summer – the opposite of many people, I’m sure! Autumn, winter, and spring are my favourite times of year comfort wise, though I do love aspects of summer. The heatwaves and climate change definitely don’t help.

Of course I’ve also found myself increasingly worried about the state of the world, climate change, and what the future holds. Watching what’s happening in US politics and with human rights, looking at how our UK government is behaving and the rise of fascism here, and then knowing that there’s a number of genocides happening worldwide is horrifying. It’s hard to know exactly how to live life as ‘normal’ or to feel at all ‘normal’ when your brain can’t quite fully process these events and atrocities.

It feels good to return to blogging, though I’m not certain yet how I want to use this space. I think I’ll try and feel it out as I usually do, and just follow what feels right. There are some projects I want to do – one is compiling a resource page or list for ADHD and autistic people because I’ve had some requests lately for resources. It would also be helpful for me because I have links all over the place and I’d like to put them somewhere together. I’m always seeing new books pop up or there are books I haven’t read yet. It would also include links to Youtube channels and programs from UK TV, Netflix etc.

If you’re reading this, I hope you’re doing as well as you can in the times we’re living in. Take care of yourself and the people you love, you are loved and needed!

‘In every work of art, the heart must be part of it.’ – Vincent Van Gogh