Wake Me Up

…when September ends.

LensFlareTrees

Usually, with the arrival of Autumn, I feel a renewed sense of purpose. Autumn, for me, has always been the time of year when writing becomes my reason for being – the longer nights are all about reading, writing, drinking lots of tea and contemplation. I’ve become more aware that I do have a lot of free time. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, with all the different projects and things that I’ve involved myself in: but I know that I have a choice about what to do with my time.

Over the past few months, I’ve been struggling with how to make my time more intentional, to make sure I do the writing, reading and creating that form the backbone of my work and passion. I have been spending more time than I need to on social networking. Whilst I’ve met some incredible and inspiring people in the past few months, I also feel that when I commit to something, I allow it to consume my energy. It’s something that I’ve recognised about myself over the past few months. I’m an all or nothing kind of person. When I commit to a project, I often put too much of myself into it.

This kind of ‘all or nothing’ giving has a lot to do with introversion, and my type – INFJ – which means that I always get involved with things that align with my values and principles. I have always wanted to make the world a better place for people, to make a difference – but in a quiet way. The things that I believe in – equality, inclusion and empathy – mean that I will always strive to do more than my best with things. Often, this leads to burnout, and I don’t always recognise the warning signs before it’s too late – I will give and give but don’t always take, or ask for anything or little in return.

Yes, it does sound a little like being a martyr about things – and I recognise more now that it’s okay to ask for other people’s help, to ask for time to myself, to focus on what I need to do. To say ‘no’ more often. People who recognise their limits and take the time to develop themselves have more energy and understanding of how to be a better ambassador to their causes. I don’t always feel I’ve done enough: there will always be more to do. Over the summer, this feeling has made me feel paralysed. I’ve been taking a closer look and recognising that my energy is not infinite. Being a freelance writer and general creative person, I need that energy. I need that energy to take me down the paths I’ve started with my work.

This is partly why my own blogging has taken a back-seat – because I’ve been working out how to make things work. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be blogging more and will be on social media less – writing and reading more, and making my creative work my focus. I wrote this post as an explanation to my readers – I appreciate all of you more than you know. As I see people following me in the top right corner each day, I feel grateful: even through this desert of creation each new follower has reminded me that writing is what I’m here for – my work and passion.

‘Writing is not a matter of time, but a matter of space. If you don’t keep space in your head for writing, you won’t write even if you have the time.’ – Katerina Stoykova Klemer.

6 Comments Add yours

  1. I don’t think anyone is ever satisfied with how much they read or write. That being said, the want for balance in your life is relatable across the table, and I’ve recently discovered that that may be the hardest part about life. Not tipping the scale too much to one side or the other. Don’t be hard on yourself and flow a little more the other way. Social is still such a useful pass time.

    Like

    1. Liz Ward says:

      Thank you – your comment helps 🙂

      Like

  2. cardamone5 says:

    Totally understand what you mean by giving your all to a cause close to your heart. I do that all the time, and find myself exhausted as a result. I also recognize that I expend too much energy on pondering (revisiting past events, understanding people’s reactions, analyzing my own behavior, planning the future) which can be even more of a drain than the all in approach. I feel most inspired, and my most authentic self (most capable) after I’ve had a long sleep and a good laugh. Nothing wakes me up more than a comedy, specifically physical comedy. My all time favorite is Rowan Atkinson. You Brits have my funny bone in the palm of your hands.

    Glad you posted. I’ve missed you. I look forward to upcoming posts.

    Love,
    E

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Liz Ward says:

      Laughing and sleep are the best. I know what you mean, I think too much at times, which is exhausting! I’ve missed you too and I’ll be round yours commenting more hopefully 🙂 xxx

      Like

  3. Well, I wish you all the best in all your creative endeavors, and that you find a balance in it all. 🙂 Go INFJ’s! *high five*

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thenjoyedadventure says:

    So pretty!

    Like

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